"Relationship SUCKS when ppl dun treasure what you are doing for them"


This is what I saw at his MSN message. I know it doesn't point out to anybody but of course it must be about his recent relationship right? So it is indirectly gotta do something about me.

I know that I even shouldn't be bothered by this as it is no point in brooding over this matter 'cause it's over. But I can't help it. Well, it's not that I'm sad or depressed that he state this phrase. I just want to prove him otherwise.

When I read this, the first thing that came to my mind was what has he done for me?

Yes, I agreed that you have been there for me.
Yes, I agreed that you have fulfilled whatever things that I want him to do.
Yes, I agreed that I can feel his love for me whenever we go out.
And finally, yes, I agreed that you have been working hard so that you can be stabilize yourself in order for our future to be easy.
Yes, I know you want to settle all your stuffs first so that I may not be included in this burden of yours.
Yes, I know you are trying to upgrade yourself with the part-time class so that you can find a better job in the future.

You think I don't understand? I do!!! So don’t think that I don't understand your situation.

The only thing that just concerns me is the jobs that you chose into. I know it's hard for you to find a job. And since the day that I knew you, job-hopping is not a normal thing to me. It's not good for my health you know 'cause I will always get stressed whenever you changed job. No job, no income. And what are you gonna do about the other responsibilities that you need to settle. You think that I never ever think about that for you? I did! Stress tau!!! And now, you choose a property line. You only got commission when you sold a house. So that means no sales, no income. Can you survive that? Why can’t you find one that has a monthly based income? I mean to just get some income first so that these responsibilities are covered bit by bit. At least that's better rather than you just jump into a job that make big money and then no returns were seen. There goes your time being wasted.

So if you continue to do this way, how long am I gonna wait for you? Until I'm 30 plus? And if we were to be together eventually, will I be neglected at home? Will you be working non-stop again? You yourself told me that you wanna have a room for you to work so that you can work all day and night. So I assume you rather work all day. Workaholic... I know you will reasoned out by saying to earn money. But being a workaholic has its pros and cons.

So please understand that it has been hard for me to choose what I have done. It's such a pity for our relationship to end. Don't say that I don’t treasure what you have done.

It's just that I don't see how you handle with the way you choose your path to be...

written @10:31 AM

"Dinda... do you think u have 50 bucks to spare?"

That is what I received from him. Something not new to me.

Sianz. Why is he still calling me Dinda? I text him back making it clear to him that we are no longer in a relationship and told him that he may not called me by that. And I told him that I hope he get it.

And guess what?

He text me back saying that he got it NOW finally. And then saying that he will settled all those money that I had helped him and that's his vow to me. Jeezz I thought he knew. He told me, I said that its a lay off so its ok. Eh? I didnt said that I need a break. And so he told me not to worry now, 'cause He GOT it.

And then guess what again?

After all those messages and thinking abt it, I missed a step at the last 3 steps of a staircase near my flat and fell down with my knee scraping on the last 2 steps. -.-" Luckily it's dark and nobody see it. Well except for the kid at the top. My shoe heel broke due to that and my knee hurt like hell. Got back home and found out that it's all a bloody mess at the wound. When it came contact with water, it hurts. Ugghhh!

Anyway, I guess I was thinking too much or he was saying bad things about me. Haha...

Oh well, at least he GOT it clear.

But I felt shitty. I don't know why....










-I manage to pick the pieces of my heart, but now... it's scattered all over again..-

written @3:00 PM

written @2:09 AM

Geez. I really need to stop dwelling with my ownself monsters.

It can get worse if I don't do something. And it happened at work.

So it had begun...

I was supposed to check the price for the Euro Cup from StarHub which was instructed by my manager. And it totally slip out of my mind. Since I was so busy with completing my deadline, I really had forgotten about it. All I heard from my manager was to check the price. The word 'sign up' for it didnt get into my head.

Until on a Saturday afternoon, my colleague called me on my mobile and asked hows the Euro Cup thingy. And guess what? I still have the cheek to ask... what euro cup? Jeez, when she said dexter told my manager about it, then I did recall her asking me to check on the price. And the Euro Cup starts on the night itself. Die! Customers going to the Lounge at my workplace is gonna get pissed as we had put up posters on Live Telecast on the Euro Cup at the Lounge.

See what my own monster had done. And today, the F&B manager took over the problem and we gave everything to him to settle. Damn it! I felt so bad for all this. How can I forget such an important thing???

written @2:01 AM

I keep wanting to update this blog but nothing just came up to my mind yet.

And the reason I wrote this was because I was damn bored and dunno what to do.

Life for me now is just going to work, come back home, locked myself in my room, surf net, read book and went to sleep once I feel tired.

Then its the same for the next day

and the next day

and the next day....

Unless I have plans with friends, then it will be different. heh.

Sometimes, I feel like going somewhere alone.

Just being in a place alone where I can clear my mind.

I have yet to do that anyway.

I want to.

But couldn't think of a gd place to do that.

Anyone have a gd place in mind? :)

written @11:12 PM