Is it normal?
To feel angry, jealous and envy of my sister?
Everytime I asked my mum where she is or if she is coming back home from work, all I heard that is coming out from my mum's mouth is, "ohh... went out with him. Oh.. went to watch movie with him. Oh.. accompanying him to do stuff.."
Or that time during weekends, mum would always go in our room in the morning to talk to my sis like, "where did you go yesterday nite? ohhh... watch midnight movie eh? What show? Is it good? What time it ends? What time you went back home? Where you all go and eat?" And yada, yada... And my sis would of course answer with details to all that question.
As for me, I pretended to sleep. But actually I was fully awake. Listening to her tale of last night outing or whatever outing she had with someone that she like, it seems like she had fun. And this brings me back memories. And I... don't even want to go there. Cause that will only made me judge the decision that I had made. So I just get out to wash up leaving them in my room.
Why am I feeling this way to my sister? Why must I feel jealous whenever I heard that she's coming back home late with him? Why must I be mad and miserable with myself for having a not so fun life?? Why??
Arggghhhhh!! BAKA!!
(Idiot!) What the hell am I doing?
Shouldn't I be glad for her?
She's my sister for god sake!! Doesn't mean that if I'm alone now, she has to be one too. Doesn't mean that if I'm not having fun, she gotta feel the same way!!
Buck Up Asilah!!
At least she's helping you to cheer up. At least, she asked you to watch any latest new movies with her. At least, she wants to accompany you to go shopping. At least, she tried her best in asking you along when she go out with mother...
So be strong okay.
